November 7, 2025, by Bert Cohen
What is it really about in life: success or happiness? And how do the two interact? That is something deeply personal, of course. But based on my own experiences over the past ten years, I have also gained a few broader insights. For example, that the two only truly reinforce each other when they spring from the same source, which is you!
What is the difference, actually?
In short: success is usually about what you achieve, while happiness is about how you feel. But let’s unpack that a little further …
Success is often measured externally: status, money, career, performance, or recognition. It is something others can see or evaluate, and it often depends on comparison with others (‘I am successful if I perform better than…’). That makes success satisfying, but also fleeting, as the next goal is already waiting. In essence, success is what you get when the world approves of you.
Happiness, on the other hand, is experienced internally: contentment, peace, meaning, love, and freedom. Therefore it is something only you can feel, no one else can measure it for you. It comes from acceptance, gratitude, and connection, and it tends to last longer because it doesn’t rely on constant achievement. So happiness is what you feel when you are at peace with yourself and your life, even without applause.
How are the two related?
You can think of happiness and success as two circles that partially overlap. Sometimes they go hand in hand - success can contribute to happiness, and vice versa - but not always. After all, you can be successful yet unhappy, or happy without success (according to others). How does that work?
Success can bring feelings of happiness. For example, when you reach a goal, you may feel pride and relief. A promotion can bring financial security, reducing stress. Recognition from others can boost your confidence. But that kind of happiness is often conditional and temporary. Once success is achieved, the bar tends to go up again. So success often contributes to happiness, but only when it aligns with what you truly (intrinsically) value.
And now the other way around. Extensive psychological research shows that happy people tend to be more successful. They are more creative, flexible, and social, they collaborate better and are more resilient when facing setbacks. Happiness fills your inner energy tank, which makes success both easier and more sustainable.
This suggests there is a difference between some sort of outer and inner success. Sometimes people appear successful - great job, nice car - but feel empty or stressed inside. While others may lead seemingly ‘ordinary’ lives or even (temporarily) not look successful at all, yet they feel peaceful and content. So the real question about success is whether is this success according to others, or according to yourself?
And what do we get out of this?
Well, to me this means that happiness and success only reinforce each other when they come from the same source. You do something meaningful, you grow in a way that fits you and you feel that your achievements are aligned with your inner values. That is when you enter an upward spiral, where success and happiness strengthen one another. While when they clash, tension is inevitable. Which may still lead to success, but often at the expense of happiness.
So, when happiness and success naturally align as your own values become the standard, it is worth asking yourself again and again: ‘What do I really want?’. And if you don’t know the answer (for now), it is perfectly fine to ask for help … if you want!
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